Engaged After Valentine’s Day? The Money Checklist to Do Before You Book Anything
Congratulations, ladies. If you got engaged around Valentine’s Day, you’re probably still floating, still showing the ring, and already getting hit with questions like “Have you picked a date?” and “Where are you doing it?”
Before you book a venue, put down a deposit, or say yes to a vendor package, pause and do one thing that will protect your peace and your future.
Do a money checklist.
Not because romance needs rules, but because weddings move fast, deposits are non-refundable, and the decisions you make in the next 30 to 60 days can either set you up for a strong start or create stress you did not sign up for.
This is the practical, no-judgment checklist to complete before you book anything.
1) Get Clear On Your “Why” For The Wedding
Before you talk numbers, talk meaning.
Ask each other:
What do we want this day to feel like?
Who absolutely needs to be there?
What are we not willing to compromise on?
What are we willing to skip if it keeps us financially stable?
Your “why” becomes your filter. Without it, you’ll spend based on pressure, not values.
2) Choose a Wedding Budget Range… Not a Single Number
A single number can feel rigid, and it often leads to guilt. A range gives you flexibility.
Example:
Comfortable: $15,000 to $25,000
Stretch: $25,000 to $35,000
Then decide together:
What range keeps us sleeping at night?
What range keeps us on track for our bigger goals?
If you’re not sure what’s realistic, start with your cash flow and savings, not Instagram.
3) Decide How You’re Paying For It (Before You Price Venues)
This is where many couples get into trouble. The venue quote looks fine until you realize you’re funding it with credit.
Pick your funding plan:
Cash savings (best option)
Monthly cash flow (pay-as-you-go)
Family contributions (only count what is confirmed)
A small, planned credit amount (only if it’s truly manageable)
A simple rule: if you cannot explain exactly how the deposit will be paid without stress, you are not ready to book.
4) Confirm Family Contributions In Writing (And Set Boundaries)
If family is contributing, get clarity early. Money without clarity can come with expectations.
Ask:
How much are you contributing?
When will it be available?
Is it a gift or a loan?
Are there any expectations tied to it (guest list, traditions, vendors)?
This is not ungrateful. This is grown.
5) Do a Full “Money Date” Disclosure
This is the part people avoid, but it’s the part that protects your marriage.
Each of you should bring:
Last 3 months of bank statements
Credit card statements
A list of debts (student loans, car loans, lines of credit)
Your credit score range (you don’t need perfection, you need honesty)
Your income (salary, bonuses, side income)
Then talk about:
Spending habits
Any financial anxiety triggers
What “financial safety” means to each of you
If this conversation feels tense, that’s normal. The goal is not to be perfect. The goal is to be transparent.
6) Calculate Your Combined Monthly Baseline
Before you add wedding payments, you need to know your real monthly cost of living.
List:
Rent or mortgage
Utilities
Groceries
Transportation
Debt payments
Insurance
Subscriptions
Childcare (if applicable)
Savings contributions
Now you can answer the key question:
How much can we comfortably put toward the wedding each month without going backwards?
7) Decide Your Top 3 Priorities and Your Top 3 “Not Worth It” Items
This is a money move that saves thousands.
Pick your top 3 priorities (examples):
Photography
Food and guest experience
Venue
Live music
Dress and glam
Then pick 3 things you’re willing to keep simple (examples):
Favors
Elaborate signage
Extra events
Custom cocktails
This keeps your spending aligned with what you actually care about.
8) Build a Wedding Budget That Includes The “Invisible” Costs
Most budgets miss the sneaky categories.
Don’t forget:
Alterations
Hair and makeup trials
Marriage license
Tips and gratuities
Vendor meals
Postage and invitations
Décor setup and teardown
Day-of coordinator (even if you have a planner)
Transportation
Hotel blocks and accommodations
Pre-wedding events (bridal shower, bachelor/bachelorette)
Add a buffer:
10% to 15% contingency
Because something will come up.
9) Protect Your Emergency Fund
Your wedding should not wipe out your safety net.
A healthy baseline:
3 to 6 months of essential expenses
If you’re not there yet, decide:
How much of the wedding can be delayed or simplified so you keep your emergency fund intact?
A wedding is one day. Financial stability is everyday.
10) Talk About Your First Year of Marriage Goals
This is where the real planning starts.
Ask:
Are we trying to buy a home?
Are we planning for a baby?
Are we paying down debt aggressively?
Are we supporting parents or family members?
Do we want to travel?
Now compare:
Wedding spending vs. first-year goals.
If the wedding delays your biggest goals by years, it’s worth rethinking the plan.
11) Decide How You’ll Handle Bank Accounts After Marriage
There is no one right way. There is only what works for you.
Common setups:
Fully combined: one joint account for everything
Hybrid: joint account for bills and goals, separate accounts for personal spending
Mostly separate: separate accounts with a shared bill system
A simple hybrid approach many couples love:
Joint bills account
Joint savings account (goals)
Separate personal accounts
This supports teamwork and independence.
12) Create a Plan For Debt (and Agree on The Strategy)
Debt is not a character flaw, but unmanaged debt can create tension.
Do this:
List each debt, balance, interest rate, and minimum payment
Choose a payoff method: snowball (smallest first) or avalanche (highest interest first)
Decide what happens during wedding planning: do you pause extra payments or keep going?
If one partner has significantly more debt, talk about fairness and support without shame.
13) Check Your Credit Before You Make Big Moves
If you’re planning a home purchase in the next 12 to 24 months, your credit matters.
Before you open new cards or finance wedding expenses, check:
Credit utilization (keep it low)
Payment history
Any errors on your report
A wedding is not worth a higher interest rate on your future mortgage.
14) Review Insurance and Beneficiaries
This is the grown-up love part.
Consider:
Life insurance needs (especially if you have kids or shared debt)
Disability insurance (protects income)
Updating beneficiaries on existing policies
Employer benefits
Marriage is a legal and financial partnership. Make sure your protection matches your new season.
15) Put Your Vendor Decisions Through a “Future You” Test
Before you sign a contract, ask:
Will we care about this in 5 years?
Is this expense aligned with our values?
What are we giving up to afford this?
If an emergency happened next month, would this decision still feel okay?
This one question can save you from pressure spending.
A Simple “Before You Book” Checklist You Can Screenshot
Use this as your minimum standard before any deposit:
We agreed on our wedding “why”
We chose a budget range
We know exactly how the deposit will be paid
Family contributions are confirmed (amount and timing)
We disclosed debts, income, and spending habits
We calculated our monthly baseline expenses
We picked our top 3 priorities and top 3 simplifications
We included invisible costs and a 10% to 15% buffer
We protected our emergency fund
We discussed first-year marriage goals
Final Thoughts
Getting engaged is a beautiful moment. Planning a wedding can be joyful too, but only if you keep your finances from becoming the third person in the relationship.
Do the checklist first. Book second.
If you want support turning this into a clear plan, I can help you map out a wedding budget that protects your goals, your credit, and your peace, while still giving you a day that feels like you.
